Talk less. It is time to listen more, and talk less. Also good are expansive questions, such as, “If you could spend a month anywhere in the world, where would you go?”. Wisdom begins when we listen more and talk less. Listen to connect. May 6, 2020 YH Law. Listen More, Talk Less. It is fundamental to any successful relationship — personal, professional and political. I'm not suggesting you remain silent all the time. Especially if you really are taking in what that person is saying and not thinking about something else. Many translated example sentences containing "listen more talk less" – German-English dictionary and search engine for German translations. People had no trouble, however, telling me what it meant to be a bad listener, rattling off actions such as interrupting, looking at a phone, and responding in a narcissistic or confused way. Talk Less, Listen More. Who gets the best deal in that exchange? When someone expresses concern or doubt, I often find myself searching for the perfect thing to say. Wars have been fought, fortunes lost and friendships wrecked for lack of listening. But tech is not the only culprit. Try not to be the one to initiate conversation. The best thing that can be said, is often nothing at all. Most people tend to treat conversation like a competitive sport, in which the person who says the most, makes the cleverest point, persuades others of an opinion, or even speaks the longest and loudest is the winner. Listen more, talk less! Listen More, Talk Less… June 17, 2019 gregoryjoel Thoughts From the Porch: I’m posting this on my business website as well as the Opal’s Farm Facebook Page. Abraham Lincoln said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." If people are listening to anything, it’s likely through headphones or earbuds, where they feel safe inside their own curated sound bubbles. How you listen can work like a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you’re barely listening to someone because you think that person is boring or not worth your time, you could actually make it so. agent told me, interrogation will get you information, but it won’t be credible or reliable. A person who's talking is giving away information--often more than he or she intended. Try to find out what excites or aggravates them — their daily pleasures or what keeps them up at night. Description. Listen more, talk less. agent, a focus group moderator and more. The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. Stop the cacophony of thought. Whatever challenges a couple is facing, there is one skill anyone can work on to greatly improve a relationship; that skill is listening. Conversely, they found that attentive listeners received more information, relevant details and elaboration from speakers, even when the listeners didn’t ask any questions. Talk Less, Listen More. Talk less. "If you make listening and observation your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk." Listen more Talk less. https://premiadr.com/talk-less-listen-more-negotiate-better 2 - be approachable & receptive. If you stop and think about it, though, this approach is the opposite of the one we should take. In other words, the kinds of conversations that make you want to leave the party early and rush home to your dog. After a couple of years studying the neuroscience, psychology and sociology of listening, as well as consulting some of the best professional listeners out there (including a C.I.A. Listen more and talk less. It is only by listening that we engage, understand, empathize, cooperate and develop as human beings. The reason you have two ears and one mouth is because listening is more important in this thing called life than talking. If you’re good at the skill but aren’t sincerely interested in understanding the other person, you’ll fail. Ask about the last movie they saw or for the story behind a piece of jewelry they’re wearing. The soothing voice of a mother, the whisper of a lover, the guidance of a mentor, the admonishment of a supervisor, the rallying call of a leader and the taunts of a rival ultimately form and shape us. Let it come to you. I … When was the last time you really listened to someone talk.? Having a rough sense of how long you've been talking can help you speak less. And here’s our email: letters@nytimes.com. You won’t become invisible, powerless or less impactful. Absorb your moments fully, be undistracted by trying to find witty or adequate words. I sometimes use it by accident, when a source finishes answering a question and I'm caught off-guard for a moment or two before coming up with my next question. I mean real listening, where you focus on what the other person is saying and take it in, instead of planning the brilliant thing you'll say the moment the other person finishes speaking? All of us find ourselves interrupting, speechifying, insisting, and coming up with witticisms--all to support our point of view or display our superior knowledge. EMAIL; SHARE; Quiet people wield far more power than you may think. Image of chalk, advice, concept - 21996516 By Minda Zetlin, Co-author, The Geek Gap @MindaZetlin. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and introducing me to a new blogger. Ever since we were younger, the spotlight has always been on the other, more commonly regarded half of communication — talking. Was so attentive to what you were saying and whose response was so spot on that you felt truly understood? Calm down. If you're like most of us, the answer is: Not enough. If you only say what you're thinking on occasion, or only make a point one time instead of over and over, your words are likely to have more weight. Research indicates that when people who don’t know each other well ask each other these types of questions, they feel more connected than if they spent time together accomplishing a task. “I had just smoked a joint and was looking for a ménage à trois — me, Ben and Jerry,” she said. If you want to significantly improve the quality of your sales conversations to increase your win rates, the talk vs listening ratio is one of the most important things to consider. The sad truth is that people have more experience being cut off, ignored and misunderstood than heard to their satisfaction. When you know how to listen more and talk less, you will be able to collect the right data and then use that to close more deals and do it faster. If you’re a parent who’s reaching the end of your rope with your child’s meltdowns and difficult behaviour, we have good news for you. A very wise man once said – you have two ears and one mouth use them accordingly . Get Quote for Consultative Selling Training Attend Public Consultative Selling Workshop. insightsworld.ch. That is, if you ask truly curious questions that don’t have the hidden agenda of fixing, saving, advising, convincing or correcting. People will start seeking you out in due course. All of us fall into this trap. Ms. Murphy is the author of “You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters.”. Here are some tips. Mehr zuhören und weniger sprechen. That’s why the Father says to us of his Son, “listen to him” (Matthew 17:5). The most effective way to feel closer to your partner is in your power. People find phone calls intrusive and ignore voice mail, preferring text or wordless emoji. There is an absolute correlation between listening and connecting. And it is our responsibility to continuously push forward to develop innovative ideas and foundational strategies for advancing the workplace. Aug 29 2018, 5:55 PM. In general, after about 20 seconds of speaking you're at risk for losing the listener's attention. We are, each of us, the sum of what we attend to in life. In most conversations, the person who speaks least benefits most and the person who speaks most benefits least. For trail and uphill riding. Publication date 2014-02-14 Usage Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Topics ambient, JMPW, soundscape, drone, electronic. WORDS can punch harder than a fist. “Listen or Your Tongue Will Make you Deaf” – Old Native America Proverb Listen, I have one really important question to ask you. You need to listen twice as much as you ant to be listened to. Or expressed a thought you might better have kept to yourself? Listen More, Talk Less. The cacophony of modern life also stops us from listening. To be clear, I'm not suggesting that you always keep your opinions to yourself. 1. Listen to understand. We would do well to listen more and speak less — and when we do speak, to only speak what he gives us to say. Feel the energy pulsing within every moment, Be aware of time when you speak. Traffic noise on city streets, music playing in shops and the bean grinder at your favorite coffeehouse exceed the volume of normal conversation by as much as 30 decibels, and can even cause hearing loss. A person who's listening is receiving information. By Lauren Vinopal. While you may believe your words are invaluable, others may not share the same opinion or optimism. Listen More. They are also more likely to assume they already know what the other person is going to say. 1. insightsworld.ch. Listen More, Talk Less by JMPW. So how can we reclaim the lost art of listening? Here’s a proven, research-backed tactic that will improve your sales process: 4 - maintain appropriate body language. He or she will feel understood and validated. 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